empatheias | in this closed off world

Entry tags:

riku,
riku replica

in this closed off world

Who: Riku and Arden
Where: KH Clubhouse
When: First couple days of the month
Format: [ like this ]
Closed
Summary: Riku comes back around the KH Clubhouse only to find a certain someone isn't how he left them.

[ He said he wouldn't disappear again and, already, he seems to have broken that so-called promise.

To be fair, he hadn't exactly expected to be told what he had been and for emotions to so quickly push their way to the surface that he felt it best to remove himself from the moment. Thus, he's been hanging around Cloud's place for the past little while, simply needing to clear his head, let alone his emotions, and just allow himself some time to adjust since there seems to be so much he still needs to.

Being away from Sora, however, is a difficult thing even for him to do in his current mood and it's why he's finally decided to come around the place that he's to call "home" while being within this world. Well, it's what Sora considers for him, Riku doesn't exactly feel like it is, especially with those he lives with there. But, he's kept to himself while he's been there and so he figures his absence within the house won't really be noticed.

Unless your name is Sora, that is.

It's a little later in the day when Riku finally steps inside the house, wearing something that he's clearly borrowed from Cloud while still donning the blindfold as always. It's Sora that he needs to see, needs to apologize to (again), and so he makes his way throughout the house, wondering if he's even around. He better be since he has this stuffed plush to give to him as a means of saying he's sorry and Sora's always a sucker for things like this. ]

Sora?

[ But when he does find the other, it leaves Riku stunned, standing there with eyes wide ~~not like you'd be able to see~~ as he drops the plush to the floor. Sora is... crystallized... sleeping? and it has him feel a painful sort of deja-vu all over again that he doesn't even notice how the colour visibly bleeds away from around him, leaving everything in a wash of gray. ]

Sora!

[ If the colour draining from around him isn't enough, maybe the sudden trembling of the house might be. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Gripping tight at the railing as he goes down the stairs, Riku comes to stop halfway down them when he notices Arden appear through a Dark Corridor. Really, he doesn't want to deal with this right now and fingers clutch tighter at his chest as he glares through his blindfold to Arden. ]

Get out of my way.

[ The words are said lowly- dangerously even and he coughs right after he says them, fingers twisting with the material of his shirt tighter.

He's only going to say this once. ]

[ He takes a deep breath and steels his resolve. ]

No.

[ He's hurt and frustrated and Riku's told him all kinds of things that he already heard about from the time under that blindfold. If Sora couldn't get through to him, then kind words from a friend won't do it.

He doesn't pull his keyblade or transform into his Dark Mode outfit or start summoning Zexion's powers - he'll wait for Riku to initiate that kind of thing. Whatever happens, he's just trying to get Riku to think about everything he told Arden just now - how Sora's happy, but Riku's mad about it; how he raised a hand to strike Arden away from Sora; how he can't seem to understand that people can interact pleasantly without being best friends. He sounds like a hypocrite right now and Arden hates it with the passion of someone who's made similar mistakes, not that he can tell Riku that-- or maybe he can? He choked the words down before... to what end? ]

You keep going on about how I don't know you. From where I'm standing, seems like you're making all of my same mistakes. I'm daring you to prove me wrong.

[ Riku's gaze pierces through his blindfold towards Arden. He's trying... he's trying so hard not to let anything slip through his fingers, to not let these emotions claim him and cause physical reactions to happen. The black thorny vines or the shadowy hands that tore themselves from the ground the last couple of times that he couldn't seem to reel these emotions back in... how they somehow seemed to manifest from the darkness within him... he doesn't want that to happen now, to happen here, which is why he's trying to leave.

But here's Arden, blocking his way and it's only further agitating Riku as he stands there gripping at the railing. For a moment, it looks as though he's about to summon Soul Eater within his hand with the way he draws it away from the railing, but... he doesn't and instead, he clutches at his chest again, this time tighter than before.

It hurts inside. It hurts so much and it feels as though something wants to come out, something that he's been swallowing down over and over again whenever he feels it starting to rise up within him but this time, this time it feels as though he can't swallow it back down and he wants to blame Arden for this.

Coming to drop down to a knee on one of the steps, Riku coughs. Over and over again until finally, he coughs up the shards of ice that had been lodged within his chest, pushing their way through him like glass. He shivers, a puff of cold air spilling from his lips as more ice is coughed up on the stairs, a manifestation of his own numbness, the very cold that he's been swallowing down within him. ]

[ Arden’s just staring ready to receive the Soul Eater and dodge out of the way as quick as he can... but he definitely wasn’t expecting that. Damnit Riku. That counts as taking care of himself? Bull.

With a flick of his wrist, there’s purple-black mist swarming around him and it looks like he’s in his Dark Mode outfit. In reality he’s trying to use that to mask the illusion magic he’s drawing out. His real plan is to lean down quick as he can while Riku might be distracted, and tap his shoulder with a Cure for the ice shard mixed with warm thoughts of Castor, Pollux, and Sora to push away more shards - at least for a bit. He’d felt similar in his back; he knows how sharp those get. So he’s acting as fast as he can. ]

[ The last thing he needs right now is for Arden to take advantage of this moment and it's a concern of his when he sees the familiar purple-black mist appear.

However, he's unable to focus on it for long as more shards of ice are coughed up onto the stairs while fingers clutch at the front of his chest, silent thoughts of wanting this to just stop being repeated over and over again in his head.

It's the gentle tap to his shoulder that finally pulls him from those thoughts and as the Cure spell softly begins to wash over him here on the stairs, he glances up through his blindfold and stares to Arden with a look of surprise and confusion... and perhaps a touch of annoyance.

It's warm and it's soft and it's only after coughing up a few more shards of ice that he feels he can finally breathe again and, slowly, he allows himself to. Steady breaths, nice and slow, fingers still clutching at his chest. ]

[ Now that he hasn’t been pushed away, he does the combo one more time: Cure with some faint warm dunamis. He stands back up and let’s the illusion drop though. ]

Can you breathe?

[ First priority. His tone is as warm as his touch was, after trying so hard to focus on the ones nearby that he cares about enough to conjure emotion magic about. Maybe that will upset Riku but right now he’s just trying to make sure he doesn’t choke to death. ]

[ Yeah, breathing would be nice right about now and is something that he's slowly falling back into now that he's not coughing up painful shards of ice.

Wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand, Riku comes to lean against the wall there, more or less curling up into himself as he does. As much as he would just love to get up and leave, for the moment, he's unable to and needs to just... catch his breath.

Lucky for Arden, maybe. ]

Yeah.

Good.

[ He falls onto one knee, slipping it under himself and resting his right hand on his other propped-up knee in case he needs to cast again. ]

Ice comes out of my shoulder like that sometimes.

[ So 1) he knows how much it hurts, 2) knew what to do to stop the immediate problem of the bleeding, and 3) can only imagine how much worse that felt in the throat. ]

Edited 2018-03-03 00:08 (UTC)

[ This is one of the first things Arden has said that has actually caught Riku's attention (that doesn't pertain to Sora) and it has him looking to Arden with his head tilted, even if he's still leaning against the wall. ]

Really?

[ It's not said with sarcasm or even with little to no interest. It's said with a genuine albeit tentative sort of curiosity as he remains there on the stairs, still curled up within himself, still trying to regulate his breathing since... well... coughing up shards of ice? Just a little on the painful side of things. ]

[ Arden nods slowly, trying to make it clear he’s not going anywhere. Just in case another bout hits him. ]

At least four times now.

[ He remembers three before that last time when Riku appeared. And it’s definitely one of the reasons he wanted to be around for Riku to work out whatever was bothering him, at least the worst of it. But he keeps quiet. If this works, he’s not going to try disturbing the line of conversation Riku is prepared to have. ]

Edited 2018-03-03 02:19 (UTC)

[ Breaths are still slow but even as Riku sits there on the stairs. The chill that bubbled up from inside him has dulled and he no longer finds himself feeling icy tingles running along his spine. But still, he sits there, just focusing on his breath in this moment and, behind his blindfold, eyes slowly turn their gaze back onto Arden... who doesn't seem to be leaving him anytime soon. ]

Sounds fun.

[ It's said dryly, strands of silver falling in front of his face as he takes another deep breath. ]

You don't want me here, do you? [ He asks then, softly, no longer having his gaze on him. ] Living in this house. Only Sora really does.

[ He stays still, but his tone is genuine when he answers - not accusatory, just thoughtful. ]

I can't answer that... because I haven't had a chance to find out.

[ He shifts a little so his leg doesn't fall asleep, but he resists the urge to gesture broadly with his hands or raise his voice. He doesn't even say anything more than that, trying to let the comment stand on its own. He'd said as much before, but wrapped in sentence after sentence between angry barbs at one another. This can be simple, he hopes. Maybe.

Riku doesn't want Arden assuming he knows him, either from his warped memories or from the last time he saw Riku in Verens. If that's true, then his comment may ring better - because they've had exactly 2 interactions so far and Arden's purposefully discounting both of them. They weren't about being housemates, they were about their past and now Sora's crystallization. Outliers. Nothing to go on about what it could be like. ]

[ Perhaps it's better this way, especially with Riku feeling relatively drained from having experienced a physical manifestation of his emotions... trying to literally force themselves out of him. It leaves him sitting there on the stairs with Arden, head pressed against the wall, gaze lingering on the other and sometimes even past him.

The words that Arden offers are short and simple and yet hold a truth to them that Riku is willing to swallow in the moment. No, he hasn't had a chance to find out, to get to know him, to see what Sora sees... although, to be fair, no one might see that side of him. To him, he's not even so sure that side of him still exists, having been so wrapped up within darkness.

Clearing his throat, he remains silent for a little while longer, simply sitting there, feeling Arden's presence close to him and while the first couple of times it had made him want to avoid him, for the moment, he's fine with it. Fine with him. ]

It seems crowded here. Like there's no privacy.

[ It's a start. That's all he wanted. He's fine like this, for a little while longer. Eventually Castor may find him and beg for some food, but other than that, fresh off the realization about Sora... Riku's pretty much his top priority now.

So Arden's expression shifts to a small smile. Even if Riku ultimately wants to leave the house, he's talking about it. That's all he and Sora can ask of Riku after all. ]

Maybe a little crowded. It's easier on me cooking food, but as for privacy... I guess I can see that, even if it doesn't feel that way for me. Roxas and Sora and I are barely around at the same time, except planned events like Friday Nights. That's why it's nice to go to the roof or out back or somewhere else in Verens sometimes.

[ The roof is a place he can see being sought after by a couple people in this household and in all honesty, he can't blame them. The mention of Roxas, however, has Riku's thoughts drift to the blond and how he's more or less staying out of his way around here; they both have their own reasons for not exactly getting along after all. ]

He's happy here.

[ Something Riku had mentioned before, even if it had been through a moment of lashing out but it's still something that he finds to be true. ]

Even if he is being a slacker all over again for the moment. [ And he gives a slight huff under his breath as he refers to Sora "snoozing" again. ] But he's happy. He doesn't have to worry about everything back home. He can just... be happy here.

[ And that's what's important, isn't it? What he's wanted for his best friend to have? What he's been trying so hard to give back to him as a means to make up for everything wrong that he's done. So with him being here, he feels... out of place, like he shouldn't be here, shouldn't impede on Sora's happiness that he's made for himself here.

Because he's not so sure he can offer him much in return. Just... look at him. ]

[ He knows he has to tread carefully here, but if Riku's talking about it... then maybe... He purses his lips, thinking, and puts his knee down so that he's in a cross-legged position and Riku can clearly see his body language in all its complexity, if he can see through that blindfold. It sure seems like he can. Arden puts both of his hands on his ankles and forces his shoulders down, losing the tension there. ]

You may not believe me if I tell you this, but... yeah, he's happy. He's happier lately... because you're here.

[ His brows furrow, as if willing Riku to understand. ]

Get it? You have no basis for comparison. You're just going off how he's acted since you got here.

[ Does he believe Arden? It's hard to say. With everything that's happened in the span of almost a year, with how much he's given up, how much he's simply stopped caring (look at his hair), it's difficult to see past his own self-loathing, his guilt, regret, the shame that he carries with him everywhere he goes. He's trying to make up for it... he is, he's telling himself that he is with everything that he's doing but it's just... so hard, so difficult to see any sort of light for himself... and the light can't help him right now, that's why he blinds himself to it.

So of course believing any of this is a hard pill to swallow and Arden is certainly not the last who will try to make him believe.

A certain conversation with Sora prior to his being crystallized rings through his thoughts and it has him wanting to disbelieve Arden's words; insecurities are so dangerous for the mind at times. ]

Maybe it's all I need.

[ Maybe it's all he wants to know.

A shake of his head, he gives a heavy sigh, clearing his throat again. it's definitely a lot easier to breathe now and it doesn't feel like anything is injured on the inside. ]

Are you going to claim I owe you now?

[ For having helped him during this... episode. ]

[ He won't say any more on that topic. He's content to be sure that Riku can breathe at all now. The rest is between Sora and Riku. He made an attempt, and it won't be settled before Sora wakes up, probably. So part of him tries to figure out how to offer soup for the chill and for the scratchy throat when Riku shifts topics again.

And Arden balks at that, chuckling a little in disbelief. ]

What? No.

[ He shakes his head for emphasis. ]

No, there's no way I want to sit here and tally who owes who what.

[ He's pretty sure he'd end up in the red regardless. Plus, rehashing all the crap he's done, accidentally or intentionally, on his road to getting knighted by Minnie? To Riku? No thanks, not today. ]

I just know what the scar on my shoulder looks like and didn't want that to be your throat next. It's one of the reasons it's better that I live around other people I trust. That and the passing out.

[ He inclines his head upstairs to Sora. ]

I don't mean the crystalizing, but that too.

[ Fair enough. It's not as though he's looking to keep score between them either.

Coming to shift then, Riku places his palm flat against the wall and uses it to brace himself as he attempts to push himself up to his feet. No sense in sitting around here all day after all, right? Plus, he's not coughing up shards of ice anymore... though he has to wonder if that's something that might happen again as he's felt cold on the inside ever since his conversation with Sora.

Managing to keep his balance, he sighs slowly, breathing being easier now but still feeling a little apprehensive with each breath, as if he might feel phantom pain from the shards of ice moments ago. So far so good. ]

Well, I'm sure they're glad to have you around then.

[ He rises after Riku does, keeping his distance, but looks curious at Riku's comment. ]

Uhm, the passing out is only something that happens to me, actually.

[ Unless Riku has a similar problem now but Arden seriously doubts that. He was just looking to clarify that. ]

Do you want any more soup?

[ One last shot for the moon as he heads towards the kitchen. But he also doesn't add anything to the question. A yes or no will suffice. On the other hand, he did say 'more', and that may get under Riku's skin too. He didn't say that part intentionally, though. ]

I meant they must be glad to have someone who cares around and who knows what to do.

[ Such as how he knew how to handle the shards of ice he had been coughing up. Why he feels the need to almost... reassure Arden of his place here is... he doesn't know. But he's said it so, there it is.

The question regarding soup has Riku pause and he touches at his chest with the tips of his fingers; he can still feel a gentle beating chill inside. ]

No. [ Is Arden surprised? ] I should go.

[ He's not surprised. Maybe one day he'll get a Yes. But he nods, feeling more convinced that Riku's going to be able to reign in what's plaguing him for a few days at least.

Especially since... he's pretty sure that Riku just complimented him? Without sarcasm? If that's not progress, he's not sure what is. ]

Uh, thanks. I'll see you around then.

[ Hopefully. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

in this closed off world

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject