empatheias | ( closed ) you know sometimes it makes you sick to the bone

Entry tags:

( closed ) you know sometimes it makes you sick to the bone

Who: Trunks and others
Where: various places
When: first week of the month
Format: [ like this ]
closed
Summary: With Thras dead, Trunks has to deal with the loss of his friend and it's not too good because half-saiyan and all.

closed to his future self, backdated to october 31st.
[ He's gone.

Thras, the Arehtei he met as a child and loved so much that he went out of his way to draw up a good hundred or so posters for The Knights of Thras recruitment to protect his Arehtei... he's gone. Just like that. In a flutter of dragonfly-shaped lights. Gone... and there had been nothing he could do to stop it or save him.

Somehow, time slips away from him and he hasn't even realized that he's come to stop mid-air, having been on his way to Shaarnath as quickly as he could and yet... he hadn't been enough- he hadn't been fast enough.

He never is, is he?

At first, he believes it to be rain touching his cheeks, the skies dark with it being evening and it looked as if it might rain as he zipped his way through the night skies. But it's when his vision begins to blur, when he begins to feel an uncontrollable wave of sadness wash over him that, slowly, he begins to descend from the sky and drops down to his feet first, then his hands and knees. From his shirt, the pendant he had made when he was a child for The Knights of Thras swings forward and he catches sight of it with watery blue eyes, grasping it with a trembling hand that he at first curls tightly within his fist, before he opens his hand and stares to the small pebble he had used with the KoT he had carved in on the front of it. He curls his fist again, tightly so, eyes squeezing shut as he trembles with tears forcing their way out.

He's gone.

His friend, someone else he cared for... he's gone and he couldn't save him. He can never save them.

It's not fair.

It's not fair.

It's not fair.

And just like that, all emotion within breaks loose in a flash of gold as he screams with hands curled into fists and a wave of energy whips off him with a trembling explosion around. The ground beneath him cracks, trembling beneath him as he sinks into it, trees thrown back and just barely holding their roots to the ground as he continues to scream up to the sky in a flurry of emotions.

Anger. Grief. F a i l u r e.

It pulls at him from deep within, rips out a source of power that is so tightly wound around these emotions and refuses to let go, gripping and clawing and trying to remain within... until he rips it out of him as if one would their bleeding heart and everything around him cowers as he explodes with fire, explodes with anger, explodes with bolts of electricity that snap and pop around him so violently. Trees are obliterated, the ground splitting for miles away from him, the sky crying out with him in streaks of lightning high above as he reaches in and rips out more of that power, more of that pain, letting it consume and destroy everything around him.

Congratulations, you've unlocked SSJ2.

And all it took was the death of your Arehtei, of your friend, who you promised you would protect.

But his grief doesn't stop, his anger refuses to calm, and so he slams his curled fists down into the ground, splitting it further as he screams with tears in his eyes... over... and over... and over... he'll bury himself here. He doesn't care. Nothing matters. He's never enough. ]

closed to rokurou.
[ Giru is the first to make his way inside Thras' Temple and he does so on foot this time, small feet tapping against the flooring as he goes to ensure that it's safe before he turns and gives a no danger detected, no life detected to the half-saiyan who lingers near the entrance. His eyes fall shut, a pained expression touching his face. He knows Giru doesn't mean anything malicious with his words it's just... the no life part is... swallowing thickly, he smiles a little to his robot companion and nods once before he makes his way inside, pulling his poncho around him a little tighter.

Coming here is so familiar to the half-saiyan. Days when he would fly his way here as a small boy with his posters in hand and clapping loudly to try and get the dragon's attention... demanding they race and calling them friends, showing the dragon so proudly his drawings and his even being knighted by the Arehtei himself as his first and official knight... all of those memories feel like ghosts within these temple walls now as he slowly makes his way inside, finding the temple to now be eerie and empty of that pride and warmth that Thras would fill it with.

As Giru continues to walk ahead and investigate further, the half-saiyan finds himself stopping a little ways in as he notices the dried blood that's streaked across the flooring. His heart sinks, aching at the sight, and he swallows again as he gives a shaky breath before he proceeds to move in further; he needs to be brave, it's what Thras would want. It's when he comes across the weapons that are left behind - the bloodied sword in particular - that he comes to pause and stares to it all, feeling that ache within him grow as he sees what his dragon friend had been met with and how he could have stopped this if he had been here. Swords, arrows, knives... he could have easily broke all of these, even smacked them away if he had been here and yet...

Trunks sinks down to the floor then, Giru coming to stop and look back at the half-saiyan as he buries his face in his hands and sits there, fingers tugging at lavender coloured strands as he tries to keep it together. But he could have stopped this, he really could have and didn't, he couldn't, and it's not fair. Approaching him, Giru gently places a small hand on the half-saiyan's leg and gives a Trunks hurt? Giru help? but he's met with nothing from the half-saiyan and so he stands there, keeping watch with his small hand still on his leg. ]

for castmates or close cr.
[ In the days to follow the death of Thras, the half-saiyan is clearly grieving the loss of his friend. His room is about the only place he's ever truly found the times when he is around and hasn't disappeared to wherever, ignoring any pings or attempts to get in touch with him over the amulets. If he's not curled up in his bed, back facing whoever comes in, he's sitting on the floor, staring at the posters he'd made as a child for The Knights of Thras or the pendants he still hadn't finished before he disappeared from this world for a short time. The only other place one might find him is sitting on the roof, though this is typically at night, either staring to the night sky or with his face buried in his arms that are crossed against his knees, Giru sitting there with him and eating some nails for a snack. The light that shone so brightly within the half-saiyan who was maybe a little awkward and always willing to chat anyone up is dulled considerably and it's as if he's a shell of the man he was just a few days ago. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What do you care?!

[ And he comes to stand then, an explosion of gold bursting around him and turning lavender to blond and blue to green. But unlike the few times he's done the whole Super Saiyan transformation, this time... it feels and looks different. It's stronger, it's harsher... there's electricity snapping and popping around him. ]

Do you get it now how people felt when you helped that attack on Sosyne?! You could have done to Sosyne what these people did to Thras!

[ Rolling back a little from the energy that's pulsing in the room, Giru comes to stand next to Rokurou and gives a Trunks this your friend! Not enemy! Trunks friend! in concern that the half-saiyan might attack the daemon and more than likely end up regretting it. ]

[...Hm. His eyes narrow a bit as he watches the transformation and senses the change in it. He's not sure what, but it's definitely different from before.

Common sense dictates that he should also stand and prepare for a possible attack. But instead he just continues to remain sitting and stare at the half-saiyan. Really, it's not like he could blame the guy for how he feels or even what he just said. Even he recognizes how hypocritical it is for him to feel as much as he does about Thras's death when he had chosen to support the attack on Sosyne. True, they never really planned or intended to kill her, but the point remains. And of course he hardly ever points out that kind of distinction since he never feels the need to make that kind of defense, if one could even call it that.

Besides, intent or not, it doesn't change the fact that while he had had reservations and concerns at the time, he had no personal attachment or real worry about the other Arehtei. Even if he had known people would have been upset, he still didn't really stop it or think too deeply about the consequences. It's in part due to his very nature, but it's also in part a kind of complacency and assumption that it would take a god-like force to bring down an Arehtei. So he had already shrugged it off, ready to move on.

So, yeah. What right does he have to feel anything about Thras's death? Why shouldn't Trunks be mad at him right now or take his grief and anger out on him? For all he knows, maybe his actions with Machina and Velvet only help spurred on this tragedy. Not that he would ever bear such guilt—he's too sensible for that. But he wouldn't hold it against anyone else who thought it.]

You're right. Before I didn't really care much about anything about this world, just living for myself and doing whatever to pass the time. [And to be fair, he hadn't really been around long enough to form any attachments, so it was easier for him to move as he did.] But then things changed, and a little brat asked me to buy him a sword, making me promise things, and forcing me to be his friend. Even gave me this thing.

[He reaches back to his greatsword and holds it out, that silly Knights of Thras pendant hanging from the hilt.]

[ Excuse you, it's not silly it's just a little poorly wrapped because he was a kid and he never made pendants before???

But green eyes zero in on the pendant that dangles from the hilt of the sword and he almost laughs a little to himself. Just... not really in the way one would after hearing a funny joke or finding something funny in a positive sort of way. It's more bitter, as if to say you're really going to try that on me, are you? Something more close to that than pure amusement from joy. Yeah.

But that bitter laugh, soft as it is, disappears rather quickly and the half-saiyan's expression goes from anger to sadness as he recalls the nights he would work on those pendants and his posters as a kid. Looking back on it now... it was stupid, wasn't it? He had promised Thras he would protect him, wanted to put together "The Knights of Thras" to protect his Arehtei and even made stupid posters that he spent days handing out and posting up in the market square and... no one cared... no one cared and it didn't matter and Thras was dead now. ]

I was just a stupid kid... it was a stupid idea and didn't even matter....

[ He aches as he speaks, hands curled tight into fists and Giru standing there next to the daemon, watching his friend before he offers a Trunks a knight, dragon knight Trunks, not stupid and that just... gets the half-saiyan to break down a little there, the anger from his flaring aura dying down a bit, as do the pops and snaps from the electricity around him. ]

[He had been ready to actually use his blade against Trunks should the enraged half-saiyan come at him, but it seems that he won't need to. He quietly watches the change of expression, the despair that fills the young man's posture, the bitterness in that laugh. He knows what Trunks is feeling. That despair of failure. That everything you tried to do amounted to nothing in the end. Were Trunks in his world the malevolence born from that rage and despair would have consumed him and transformed him into a daemon.

Good thing they're not in his world.]

It wasn't stupid.

[And it's a good thing that Rokurou does have this experience to know where he needs to nudge Trunks to get out of that pit. Or at least attempt—these things are always difficult and really it's up to Trunks to decide what he should do. But a path can at least been offered, a door opened to try and bring in something.]

And it isn't stupid now. It might be too late for Thras, but he will be reborn again. When he does, he'll be young, weak, vulnerable. Even if the group who killed Thras is found, he's going to need people who he can actually trust to protect him. [He's definitely not mincing his words.]

Trunks. You can grieve all you want, that's fine. [He begins to stand, picking up his sword with the pendant still swaying, the stone flashing in the light.] But don't be so self-absorbed that you forget there's still something you can do.

It's not the same! He won't be the same!

[ His friend is dead- murdered and even if he's to be reborn, it's not like with the dragon balls... it's not starting where you left off in a sense. It's an entirely different person... or dragon, in this case. His friend... Thras is still dead.

But it's after a moment that the gold which flares around him dulls considerably until it's finally gone and blond falls to lavender and green back to blue, the half-saiyan coming to drop down to his knees and hanging his head. Giru, the concerned little guy that he is, hurries his way over then, gently coming to touch at the half-saiyan's leg as he looks up to him with a Trunks heart hurt? to which the half-saiyan can only close his eyes and smile a little. ]

Yeah, Giru. It does.

[Rokurou just watches Trunks and Giru for a moment before he finally walks over to him.]

I know it's not the same. Nothing will be. And I know you're hurting because of how close you were to him. [He stops a few steps short, arms crossed over his chest.] It's fine to grieve, but don't beat yourself up over this. It's not what Thras would have wanted.

[ With Giru still patting at the half-saiyan's leg, Trunks looks up to Rokurou then, eyes shiny with the threat to have tears fall but they don't.. he doesn't let them... at least not right now. ]

You felt it, too, didn't you? When he died...

...Yeah. [He closes his eyes for a moment and released a breath.] I watched it all happen through his eyes.

[ Hearing that, his gaze drops. ]

He wouldn't show me that.

[ Not that he... asked but... he figures the dragon, given how close they were and how he more than likely still saw the small boy in him who reached out over the amulets, wouldn't subject him to that, knowing he was already taking it hard at the time. ]

This shouldn't have happened, Rokurou.

I kind of made him. [Yeeah he knows how that sounds.] Gave him the strength to face those cowards head on rather than give in before the end.

[He sighs, shaking his head.]

But you're right. This shouldn't have happened. Definitely not like this.

[He wasn't going to say it now since Trunks is still so vulnerable, but he honestly thinks no one believed it could happen. Even after what happened with Sosyne, it's not like anyone increased defenses. And the whole anti-Thras sentiment had been around even longer. One would think they would have upped investigations on that, and there was all this talk of being worried and "what if's"—but in the end nothing happened.

Now? It's happened.

He's often thought that Velvet might have been right—that everyone here is too complacent in their own problems, not taking enough forward action and only reacting when something happens. Some of it can't be helped to be sure, but... He has a feeling that something was sleeping right under everyone's noses.

But those are thoughts and opinions he's definitely keeping to himself. For now, he just looks over at Trunks.]

Want a hug?

[ Giru being the little helper that he is, turns to look up to the daemon and gives a yes, Trunks would like that to which the half-saiyan can't even be bothered to try and chide him for that and, instead, laughs softly under his breath, even if it's for no more than a couple seconds.

Looking up, he stares off across the temple, gaze landing on the weapons strewn about. ]

What do we do now?

[He honestly wouldn't have minded too much if Trunks actually needed the hug. It would have been a little awkward, yes, but he could definitely do the bro hug.

He takes a moment to follow Trunks's gaze, the weapons strangely familiar since he had seen them through the link with Thras.]

Up to you. Obviously we have to figure out who did this, but I'm sure plenty of people will be on top of that. Depends on whether you trust them to do the job.

Which leads to what I think is the other important point. I was serious about what I was saying earlier—about Thras's reincarnation. [He looks over at Trunks.] I asked Thras, but he didn't know how long it would take or even where he might appear. All he did know was that he would be weak and would need protection—and he definitely will. I wouldn't be surprised if the group tried to attack Thras the moment he returned.

[ While he hasn't exactly been tuning in to the chatter over the amulets, he's aware that there are measures being taken or, at the very least, talks happening regarding the situation and what to do about it. As for whether or not anything will actually come of it or if he can fully trust those? He's... not so sure. No one seemed to care about the Knights of Thras when he had reached out months ago. Granted, he was a kid, so maybe no one took him seriously. But he had tried hard on his own to be a good knight and... too little too late it seems. ]

He asked me... made me promise to help him remember... to remember that we're friends... what it means to be a Knight of Thras.

[ He smiles a little, though sad, feeling his eyes became glassy again before he knocks his head back to look up, an attempt to try and keep the tears from falling. ]

Will the other Arehtei even let us near him though? I can't blame them if they don't. Maybe they might know where he'll be or when.

[Well there's his problem—he was trying it all on his own! Good thing he has someone who might be willing to help....although there might be a snag to that.]

And he asked me to help look after his future self, to fight for him. [Which is. Really ironic given everything that's happened.] But you have a valid point. They might be more okay with you, but me? [A dry laugh.] Not that I blame them, either.

But if not us, then they need to step up their game. Aren't they all separated and divided to begin with?

I'm not anywhere near as close to the others as I was with Thras...

[ There he goes feeling sad using the past tense with the dragon. ]

But if they know something, even have an idea of where or when he might reappear, then we need to ask them or at the very least suggest they make preparations to protect him if they're not already.

[ Now it's just a matter of who he could possibly get this information from. ]

I understand if they won't want to completely cooperate with us but we need their help just as much as they need ours for this world.

Well we both know I'm out. [Ha. HA HAHA....haaaaaaaaaaa.]

Do you know of any people who are closer to the other Arehtei? Maybe they can help reach out to them.

[ WONDER WHY. ]

I don't, no. I think out of my family and friends from home, I'm the only one who's ever spoke with the Arehtei.

[ Even if it was just Thras. But, hey, Trunks is a president back home now, right? Why not make him be the one out of his little group to try and work with, let alone speak to, the Arehtei? ]

I don't mind searching them out. It's just a matter of if they'll talk to any of us or not.

[ And, if he gets a metaphorical (or not) door slammed in his face, well, he'll figure something else out... hopefully. ]

What do you plan to do? Are you going to try and work with others looking into this?

[ He knows you're kind of a solo mission sort of guy at times, Rokurou. ]

That's probably what you'll have to do. Hopefully they'll at least hear you out.

As for me...

[He turns back to look at Thras's final resting place, and there may have been a cold draft that suddenly blows past. But that could have been from the outside, not necessarily from the daemon, right? Nevermind that they're out in the desert or anything.]

I doubt many would trust me to join their investigations, and I know I'm not smart enough to really figure these kinds of things out on my own. [A very dry, almost dark laugh.] Maybe I should try pretending to want to join them. That would be one way to get close to them, right?

[Is he serious? He can't be serious. He's not the "traitor spy" type.]

Actually...

[ Giru looks up to the half-saiyan as he starts, Trunks staring ahead with brows coming to knit together in thought. ],

...it's possible. You've made a name for yourself against the Arehtei and everyone who was paying attention to when the attacks on Sosyne happened. The fact that you didn't show up to try and stop them when Thras had sent out that message, it wouldn't necessarily put you in bad light with them.

[ It's... a thought at least, isn't it? ]

Of course, we're just outsiders to them... they have no reason to trust us either but... the enemy of my enemy is my friend, as the saying goes, maybe you'd be considered useful to them, especially with what you're capable of.

[ Glancing down, he chews on his lower lip in thought over that. There's no way he could pull that off, having always been vocal about his adoration for Thras and fighting to protect the others. ]

You'd stand a better chance at that than I would, just like I'd be more likely to get a response from the Arehtei than you would.

[Trunks's answer...actually surprises him. A lot. He had expected him to protest to not dig his grave further, so to head him actually consider it...

There's a bit of an amused smile as he steps away to walk towards one of the discarded swords to examine it.]

I'm surprised—thought you would be against the idea. But it'd probably be more convincing if Velvet was still around. I was just a henchman, they'd have seen her as more of a potential ally.

[ His friend is dead... was murdered. This is when the slightly cold and calculated business mind comes through in terms of placing the appropriate pieces where they need to be in order to set a successful plan in motion. Or something, yeah.

The mention of Velvet has him glance up, having only "met her" in jail when he was a kid... and basically told her to leave Rokurou alone. Yeah. ]

What do you mean if?

[He can already hear Zero's voice scolding him as he slowly picks up the blade and turns it in his hand. At least he pulled out a handkerchief to handle it!

But he's just going to respond very casually—]

She's no longer around. She and the rest have returned back home.

[Meaning he's the only one of their little group from his world left. And he really doesn't sound that bothered by it.]

Edited 2018-11-05 08:48 (UTC)

Oh...

[ A beat. ]

...sorry.

[ It's... awkward? Just a bit. It's not that he hated Velvet or anything- he didn't even know her, just... you know... he kinda scolded her when he was a kid and all so... yeah. But, he knows he had a sort of bond or whatever with the woman so, it's not like he's going to be all "good riddance" or anything. Curiously, Giru looks up to Trunks, though doesn't say anything. ]

So you're alone then. [ A beat. ] Do you wanna stay with me for a bit? Or, want me to stay there?

[ And, chiming in as he runs forward a bit is a Giru too! Giru too! ]

[There's a light chuckle as he hears that awkwardness.]

Nah, it's fine. Honestly I'm glad they're back home. [Small pause.] Well, it would have been nicer if Laphicet was able to stick around. Eleanor could handle being here just fine, too. [Honestly he feels bad for Asbel.] But this place wasn't for Velvet. Not from when she came from, anyway. So it's better this way—she can focus on her own mission and not feel so aggravated about everything anymore.

[And he really does feel that way. Yeah, sure, kind of sucks not having them around and he grown used to living with Velvet, but this really is for the best. Besides, he had other people around, even if he technically had always foreseen and planned on being on his own after everything was over. Funny how being stuck in a different world works.]

And thanks for the offer, but I got an entire airship crew, a chocobo, a cat, and a dinosaur to look after. You're free to visit, though.

[His grin widens because yeah. He's not lying. Rokurou became a single dad in a huge way.]

[ While maybe not his usual one, he manages just the faintest touch of a smile to his lips before he glances down and, in doing so, catches sight of the amulet tucked beneath his poncho against his chest. ]

Did your amulet burn you, too?

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