empatheias | ( closed ) you know sometimes it makes you sick to the bone

Entry tags:

( closed ) you know sometimes it makes you sick to the bone

Who: Trunks and others
Where: various places
When: first week of the month
Format: [ like this ]
closed
Summary: With Thras dead, Trunks has to deal with the loss of his friend and it's not too good because half-saiyan and all.

closed to his future self, backdated to october 31st.
[ He's gone.

Thras, the Arehtei he met as a child and loved so much that he went out of his way to draw up a good hundred or so posters for The Knights of Thras recruitment to protect his Arehtei... he's gone. Just like that. In a flutter of dragonfly-shaped lights. Gone... and there had been nothing he could do to stop it or save him.

Somehow, time slips away from him and he hasn't even realized that he's come to stop mid-air, having been on his way to Shaarnath as quickly as he could and yet... he hadn't been enough- he hadn't been fast enough.

He never is, is he?

At first, he believes it to be rain touching his cheeks, the skies dark with it being evening and it looked as if it might rain as he zipped his way through the night skies. But it's when his vision begins to blur, when he begins to feel an uncontrollable wave of sadness wash over him that, slowly, he begins to descend from the sky and drops down to his feet first, then his hands and knees. From his shirt, the pendant he had made when he was a child for The Knights of Thras swings forward and he catches sight of it with watery blue eyes, grasping it with a trembling hand that he at first curls tightly within his fist, before he opens his hand and stares to the small pebble he had used with the KoT he had carved in on the front of it. He curls his fist again, tightly so, eyes squeezing shut as he trembles with tears forcing their way out.

He's gone.

His friend, someone else he cared for... he's gone and he couldn't save him. He can never save them.

It's not fair.

It's not fair.

It's not fair.

And just like that, all emotion within breaks loose in a flash of gold as he screams with hands curled into fists and a wave of energy whips off him with a trembling explosion around. The ground beneath him cracks, trembling beneath him as he sinks into it, trees thrown back and just barely holding their roots to the ground as he continues to scream up to the sky in a flurry of emotions.

Anger. Grief. F a i l u r e.

It pulls at him from deep within, rips out a source of power that is so tightly wound around these emotions and refuses to let go, gripping and clawing and trying to remain within... until he rips it out of him as if one would their bleeding heart and everything around him cowers as he explodes with fire, explodes with anger, explodes with bolts of electricity that snap and pop around him so violently. Trees are obliterated, the ground splitting for miles away from him, the sky crying out with him in streaks of lightning high above as he reaches in and rips out more of that power, more of that pain, letting it consume and destroy everything around him.

Congratulations, you've unlocked SSJ2.

And all it took was the death of your Arehtei, of your friend, who you promised you would protect.

But his grief doesn't stop, his anger refuses to calm, and so he slams his curled fists down into the ground, splitting it further as he screams with tears in his eyes... over... and over... and over... he'll bury himself here. He doesn't care. Nothing matters. He's never enough. ]

closed to rokurou.
[ Giru is the first to make his way inside Thras' Temple and he does so on foot this time, small feet tapping against the flooring as he goes to ensure that it's safe before he turns and gives a no danger detected, no life detected to the half-saiyan who lingers near the entrance. His eyes fall shut, a pained expression touching his face. He knows Giru doesn't mean anything malicious with his words it's just... the no life part is... swallowing thickly, he smiles a little to his robot companion and nods once before he makes his way inside, pulling his poncho around him a little tighter.

Coming here is so familiar to the half-saiyan. Days when he would fly his way here as a small boy with his posters in hand and clapping loudly to try and get the dragon's attention... demanding they race and calling them friends, showing the dragon so proudly his drawings and his even being knighted by the Arehtei himself as his first and official knight... all of those memories feel like ghosts within these temple walls now as he slowly makes his way inside, finding the temple to now be eerie and empty of that pride and warmth that Thras would fill it with.

As Giru continues to walk ahead and investigate further, the half-saiyan finds himself stopping a little ways in as he notices the dried blood that's streaked across the flooring. His heart sinks, aching at the sight, and he swallows again as he gives a shaky breath before he proceeds to move in further; he needs to be brave, it's what Thras would want. It's when he comes across the weapons that are left behind - the bloodied sword in particular - that he comes to pause and stares to it all, feeling that ache within him grow as he sees what his dragon friend had been met with and how he could have stopped this if he had been here. Swords, arrows, knives... he could have easily broke all of these, even smacked them away if he had been here and yet...

Trunks sinks down to the floor then, Giru coming to stop and look back at the half-saiyan as he buries his face in his hands and sits there, fingers tugging at lavender coloured strands as he tries to keep it together. But he could have stopped this, he really could have and didn't, he couldn't, and it's not fair. Approaching him, Giru gently places a small hand on the half-saiyan's leg and gives a Trunks hurt? Giru help? but he's met with nothing from the half-saiyan and so he stands there, keeping watch with his small hand still on his leg. ]

for castmates or close cr.
[ In the days to follow the death of Thras, the half-saiyan is clearly grieving the loss of his friend. His room is about the only place he's ever truly found the times when he is around and hasn't disappeared to wherever, ignoring any pings or attempts to get in touch with him over the amulets. If he's not curled up in his bed, back facing whoever comes in, he's sitting on the floor, staring at the posters he'd made as a child for The Knights of Thras or the pendants he still hadn't finished before he disappeared from this world for a short time. The only other place one might find him is sitting on the roof, though this is typically at night, either staring to the night sky or with his face buried in his arms that are crossed against his knees, Giru sitting there with him and eating some nails for a snack. The light that shone so brightly within the half-saiyan who was maybe a little awkward and always willing to chat anyone up is dulled considerably and it's as if he's a shell of the man he was just a few days ago. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Rokurou doesn't wait long to make his way to Thras's temple. Not only does he want to see the scene for himself, to see and wonder how many the people left there are actual loyal or still hiding their true colors, but he also knows someone else will be there.

And he is worried.

He knows Trunks is close to Thras, knows the guy would be upset. It's probably some saving grace that Trunks is as old as he now or the little boy he had come to know first would have completely lost it. What he isn't sure is whether Trunks would lose it and do something dumb. He banked on his other friends and family to be there for him, but...just in case...

As he reaches the top of the stairs, stairs he had last climbed to give the Arehtei his first completed crystal despite being in a dissonant relationship, he takes a moment to look at the emptiness. Take in the lifelessness, the absence of the powerful dragon. He's not sure if it's because he's aligned to Thras or if this is something else, but he feels...hollow looking at it all.

Slowly he walks through, noting where Thras struggled, where the intruders entered, following the trail of stained blood...and stopping a few feet behind the hunched over figure on the floor. He doesn't say anything for a moment, his eyes gazing over the same items Trunks did. And then he walks in, as if slowly investigating the scene, the memory of Thras's final moments replaying in his mind.]

Thought I'd find you here.

[ When Rokurou speaks, Giru is the first to notice, looking over to the daemon with his hand still on the half-saiyan's leg before he runs his way over and stops a little ways in front of Rokurou with a Trunks fall down. Giru try to help as if meaning to explain the "situation" that the daemon has walked in on.

While Giru is more than willing to explain things, as it were, to the daemon, Trunks... doesn't respond, which is very out of character for him, especially when around the daemon. Instead, he more or less curls up in on himself a little more, burying his face further into his arms as he sits there, hunched over, still, silent... aching. ]

[Rokurou stops for a moment to look over at Trunks before a small smile forms as he reaches down to pet the robot on top of its, uh. Head?]

It's fine, Giru. Looks like he needs a little more time.

[Trunks's silence is a bit concerning, but Rokurou was the type to let others deal with their issues first and wait before stepping in. And he probably will, but for now he'll let Trunks have his little wallow of grief. In the meantime, he finds where Thras's body was at the moment of his death, the large pool of blood the obvious tell. He stares at it a moment before looking back at the little robot.]

Mind helping me with something?

[ Although he doesn't really have any facial expressions, the fact that he goes silent when the daemon speaks... to him... is probably something akin to a ??????? sort of look before he gives a dee dee dee dee dee! Giru help! Giru help! and even salutes right there on the spot, marching his way over then.

As for Trunks, fingers curl tightly into his arms as he remains there on the floor, face still buried in his arms. Ordinarily, he'd be happy to see the daemon and, to know that he's here... there is a sort of comfort in that. It's just that it's difficult to really recognize or hold onto... at least for the moment. ]

[It's okay, Trunks, you can cry on him whenever you're ready. For now you can just listen to his voice because Rokurou is speaking aloud for a reason.]

Thanks, Giru. [And sitting down near the spot, a few feet away from Trunks.] Here, take this cup. [And holding out a small, ceramic cup in the shape of a disc to give to the little robot before pulling out a bottle he had brought along with him and another cup for himself.] I had promised Thras some wine before, but... This'll have to do instead.

[He may be glancing back at the other to see if there's any reaction.]

[ Giru does as instructed and takes the cup into his small metallic hands, holding it with that sort of ??????? look on his face again. A little confused, he gives a Thras not here, investigating his death and while he KNOWS that Giru means well and sometimes can't catch on to tone or how emotions are, Trunks can't help but dig his fingers into his arms just a little tighter as he hears that, the bottoms of his feet sliding against the ground some.

Still staring up to the daemon, Giru tries again with Trunks hurt. Giru wants to help. Giru not sure how to and he pops open his stomach, pulling out a bandaid to hold up to the daemon with a can't use this, no injury to see which... perhaps shows that he DOES, to some degree, understand that Trunks is hurt... he just doesn't know how to fix an injury that doesn't require medical attention. ]

[He catches that slight shift of movement...and also cringes at Giru's words. Yeah, the poor guy has it rough.]

The pain Trunks is feeling isn't one made of a physical injury. It's one of the heart. [...AND BEFORE GIRU STARTS GOING BONKERS THINKING TRUNKS HAS AN ACTUAL HEART ISSUE—] And by that I mean he's feeling grief—sadness. You might not really understand how emotions work since you're a robot.

[He pours the wine into the cup Giru is holding before taking it and setting it down in front of them. Then he pours the other cup and rather than drink from it, he also sets it down in front of him. He then leans in close towards Giru, his voice a little quieter.]

But if you want to help, Trunks, just go over there and give him a hug. You do know what a hug is, right?

[ Quietly, Giru listens to what Rokurou has to say regarding his friend's heart and how it seems to be hurting in a way that is with emotions rather than because of being physically injured. Curiously, he looks over to the half-saiyan when the suggestion of a hug is given and, looking back to the daemon he gives a Trunks give Giru hug, Giru give Trunks hug, you give Trunks hug, important to him before he tucks his bandaid back into his stomach, closing it up.

Looking up, that's when he adds Trunks important to you? rather curiously which, though it's not something to be seen what with his face in his arms and all, Trunks' eyes slowly open as he hears Giru ask that. ]

[He had a feeling Giru would say something like that, so there's a bit of a wry grin.]

I guess after everything that's happened recently, it would be a lie to say that he wasn't. Besides, I wouldn't be up here making sure he didn't do something dumb if I didn't think him important enough.

He's too old for hugs from me, though. I think he'd like them better from you, Giru.

Edited 2018-11-04 08:00 (UTC)

[ Whether Rokurou meant to or not, Trunks comes to lift his head from his arms then but, rather than look over to the daemon and Giru, he stares off ahead, fingers still curling tightly into crossed arms. ]

He didn't deserve this.

[ He says that with a shaky voice, more than obvious to see that he's still struggling with this... still struggling with swallowing his emotions down. ]

I could have stopped this... it's just swords and arrows and such stupid things that I could break in half.

[ His voice wavers as he speaks, the ground beginning to tremble some and Giru looks down before he looks up to the daemon and then over to his half-saiyan friend. Someone is getting angry... ]

[Aaah, now he's come out of his shell. Rokurou just remains where he sits, looking over at the half-saiyan. He notes the anger, but he just maintains his usual calm, collected demeanor.]

I know, and a lot of us feel the same way. [Himself included. The slight glance back at the bloodstains and way his brows furrow into a hardened line is the only hint that betrays his true feelings on the matter. But it's brief, and when looks back he appears as he always does.]

But you can't beat yourself up over it. I'm pretty sure Thras wouldn't want you blaming yourself, either.

He wasn't just some Arehtei I'm aligned to, he was my friend!

[ Maybe he hadn't meant to yell that at Rokurou but, well, he sure did. ]

Nothing I do is ever enough! I can't protect anyone no matter how hard I try!

[ Flashbacks to when he had been upset over being unable to help his father when he was little are sure bubbling to the surface here. ]

I don't want to be spared or saved... I want to protect the people I care about...

[ Even as he says those words, so dangerously low, the air around them begins to grow thick and hot and Giru looks around in confusion with a temperature rising, temperature rising given while Trunks just STARES across the room, so harshly one might think he might start shooting lasers from his eyes if he keeps it up. ]

[It's a good thing he's a daemon or this rising temperature would be extremely uncomfortable. As it is, he just continues to remain as is, seemingly unfazed by the oncoming storm, the area around him remaining cool.]

Is blowing up in a blind rage going to help you accomplish that?

What do you care?!

[ And he comes to stand then, an explosion of gold bursting around him and turning lavender to blond and blue to green. But unlike the few times he's done the whole Super Saiyan transformation, this time... it feels and looks different. It's stronger, it's harsher... there's electricity snapping and popping around him. ]

Do you get it now how people felt when you helped that attack on Sosyne?! You could have done to Sosyne what these people did to Thras!

[ Rolling back a little from the energy that's pulsing in the room, Giru comes to stand next to Rokurou and gives a Trunks this your friend! Not enemy! Trunks friend! in concern that the half-saiyan might attack the daemon and more than likely end up regretting it. ]

[...Hm. His eyes narrow a bit as he watches the transformation and senses the change in it. He's not sure what, but it's definitely different from before.

Common sense dictates that he should also stand and prepare for a possible attack. But instead he just continues to remain sitting and stare at the half-saiyan. Really, it's not like he could blame the guy for how he feels or even what he just said. Even he recognizes how hypocritical it is for him to feel as much as he does about Thras's death when he had chosen to support the attack on Sosyne. True, they never really planned or intended to kill her, but the point remains. And of course he hardly ever points out that kind of distinction since he never feels the need to make that kind of defense, if one could even call it that.

Besides, intent or not, it doesn't change the fact that while he had had reservations and concerns at the time, he had no personal attachment or real worry about the other Arehtei. Even if he had known people would have been upset, he still didn't really stop it or think too deeply about the consequences. It's in part due to his very nature, but it's also in part a kind of complacency and assumption that it would take a god-like force to bring down an Arehtei. So he had already shrugged it off, ready to move on.

So, yeah. What right does he have to feel anything about Thras's death? Why shouldn't Trunks be mad at him right now or take his grief and anger out on him? For all he knows, maybe his actions with Machina and Velvet only help spurred on this tragedy. Not that he would ever bear such guilt—he's too sensible for that. But he wouldn't hold it against anyone else who thought it.]

You're right. Before I didn't really care much about anything about this world, just living for myself and doing whatever to pass the time. [And to be fair, he hadn't really been around long enough to form any attachments, so it was easier for him to move as he did.] But then things changed, and a little brat asked me to buy him a sword, making me promise things, and forcing me to be his friend. Even gave me this thing.

[He reaches back to his greatsword and holds it out, that silly Knights of Thras pendant hanging from the hilt.]

[ Excuse you, it's not silly it's just a little poorly wrapped because he was a kid and he never made pendants before???

But green eyes zero in on the pendant that dangles from the hilt of the sword and he almost laughs a little to himself. Just... not really in the way one would after hearing a funny joke or finding something funny in a positive sort of way. It's more bitter, as if to say you're really going to try that on me, are you? Something more close to that than pure amusement from joy. Yeah.

But that bitter laugh, soft as it is, disappears rather quickly and the half-saiyan's expression goes from anger to sadness as he recalls the nights he would work on those pendants and his posters as a kid. Looking back on it now... it was stupid, wasn't it? He had promised Thras he would protect him, wanted to put together "The Knights of Thras" to protect his Arehtei and even made stupid posters that he spent days handing out and posting up in the market square and... no one cared... no one cared and it didn't matter and Thras was dead now. ]

I was just a stupid kid... it was a stupid idea and didn't even matter....

[ He aches as he speaks, hands curled tight into fists and Giru standing there next to the daemon, watching his friend before he offers a Trunks a knight, dragon knight Trunks, not stupid and that just... gets the half-saiyan to break down a little there, the anger from his flaring aura dying down a bit, as do the pops and snaps from the electricity around him. ]

[He had been ready to actually use his blade against Trunks should the enraged half-saiyan come at him, but it seems that he won't need to. He quietly watches the change of expression, the despair that fills the young man's posture, the bitterness in that laugh. He knows what Trunks is feeling. That despair of failure. That everything you tried to do amounted to nothing in the end. Were Trunks in his world the malevolence born from that rage and despair would have consumed him and transformed him into a daemon.

Good thing they're not in his world.]

It wasn't stupid.

[And it's a good thing that Rokurou does have this experience to know where he needs to nudge Trunks to get out of that pit. Or at least attempt—these things are always difficult and really it's up to Trunks to decide what he should do. But a path can at least been offered, a door opened to try and bring in something.]

And it isn't stupid now. It might be too late for Thras, but he will be reborn again. When he does, he'll be young, weak, vulnerable. Even if the group who killed Thras is found, he's going to need people who he can actually trust to protect him. [He's definitely not mincing his words.]

Trunks. You can grieve all you want, that's fine. [He begins to stand, picking up his sword with the pendant still swaying, the stone flashing in the light.] But don't be so self-absorbed that you forget there's still something you can do.

It's not the same! He won't be the same!

[ His friend is dead- murdered and even if he's to be reborn, it's not like with the dragon balls... it's not starting where you left off in a sense. It's an entirely different person... or dragon, in this case. His friend... Thras is still dead.

But it's after a moment that the gold which flares around him dulls considerably until it's finally gone and blond falls to lavender and green back to blue, the half-saiyan coming to drop down to his knees and hanging his head. Giru, the concerned little guy that he is, hurries his way over then, gently coming to touch at the half-saiyan's leg as he looks up to him with a Trunks heart hurt? to which the half-saiyan can only close his eyes and smile a little. ]

Yeah, Giru. It does.

[Rokurou just watches Trunks and Giru for a moment before he finally walks over to him.]

I know it's not the same. Nothing will be. And I know you're hurting because of how close you were to him. [He stops a few steps short, arms crossed over his chest.] It's fine to grieve, but don't beat yourself up over this. It's not what Thras would have wanted.

[ With Giru still patting at the half-saiyan's leg, Trunks looks up to Rokurou then, eyes shiny with the threat to have tears fall but they don't.. he doesn't let them... at least not right now. ]

You felt it, too, didn't you? When he died...

...Yeah. [He closes his eyes for a moment and released a breath.] I watched it all happen through his eyes.

[ Hearing that, his gaze drops. ]

He wouldn't show me that.

[ Not that he... asked but... he figures the dragon, given how close they were and how he more than likely still saw the small boy in him who reached out over the amulets, wouldn't subject him to that, knowing he was already taking it hard at the time. ]

This shouldn't have happened, Rokurou.

I kind of made him. [Yeeah he knows how that sounds.] Gave him the strength to face those cowards head on rather than give in before the end.

[He sighs, shaking his head.]

But you're right. This shouldn't have happened. Definitely not like this.

[He wasn't going to say it now since Trunks is still so vulnerable, but he honestly thinks no one believed it could happen. Even after what happened with Sosyne, it's not like anyone increased defenses. And the whole anti-Thras sentiment had been around even longer. One would think they would have upped investigations on that, and there was all this talk of being worried and "what if's"—but in the end nothing happened.

Now? It's happened.

He's often thought that Velvet might have been right—that everyone here is too complacent in their own problems, not taking enough forward action and only reacting when something happens. Some of it can't be helped to be sure, but... He has a feeling that something was sleeping right under everyone's noses.

But those are thoughts and opinions he's definitely keeping to himself. For now, he just looks over at Trunks.]

Want a hug?

[ Giru being the little helper that he is, turns to look up to the daemon and gives a yes, Trunks would like that to which the half-saiyan can't even be bothered to try and chide him for that and, instead, laughs softly under his breath, even if it's for no more than a couple seconds.

Looking up, he stares off across the temple, gaze landing on the weapons strewn about. ]

What do we do now?

[He honestly wouldn't have minded too much if Trunks actually needed the hug. It would have been a little awkward, yes, but he could definitely do the bro hug.

He takes a moment to follow Trunks's gaze, the weapons strangely familiar since he had seen them through the link with Thras.]

Up to you. Obviously we have to figure out who did this, but I'm sure plenty of people will be on top of that. Depends on whether you trust them to do the job.

Which leads to what I think is the other important point. I was serious about what I was saying earlier—about Thras's reincarnation. [He looks over at Trunks.] I asked Thras, but he didn't know how long it would take or even where he might appear. All he did know was that he would be weak and would need protection—and he definitely will. I wouldn't be surprised if the group tried to attack Thras the moment he returned.

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